Recommendations for Recommendations

How many times is too many times to ask a professor for a letter of recommendation? I often find out about opportunities at the last minute, but don’t want to burden my advisors with creating a letter for me at the drop of a hat. Is it acceptable to re-use a general one that was written for you? Is it an ethical violation to upload your own letter of recommendation? —Anonymous

(This week’s answer is courtesy of Rebecca Aanerud, Associate Dean for Academic Affairs and Planning)

It is fine to ask for a letter of recommendation as often as needed. Faculty recognize that providing letters of recommendation is part of our job. Most faculty will be able to quickly make any adjustments to a previous letter and so the time commitment is relatively small. That said, it is also completely fine to be direct and simply ask if there are limits or parameters on how many times to request a letter and within what time frame. You should not upload a general one unless you have permission to do so. If someone writes a general one, you should ask at that time if it is acceptable to use for future purposes without further permission.

Ask the Grad School Guru is an advice column for all y’all graduate and professional students. Real questions from real students, answered by real people. If the guru doesn’t know the answer, the guru will seek out experts all across campus to address the issue. (Please note: The guru is not a medical doctor, therapist, lawyer or academic advisor, and all advice offered here is for informational purposes only.) Submit a question for the column →

Professors on Pedestals

Is there a place on campus where I can learn how to address/talk to professors? I have been in the US for about six years now, but I am originally from a culture where one is supposed to show respect to people older than you. I therefore still cannot bring myself to address a professor by name (as my other fellow graduate students do), or write an email to them without putting in multiple “Thank you for your time!” and “Sorry to bother you…”.

When I read my own emails that I send out to professors, it’s cringeworthy, since I’m so deferential. It’s worse when the professors I address are just a couple of years older than me. I want to learn to get over this. My friend recently pointed out that calling someone “Prof. X”, and writing so many Thank Yous and Sorrys in email skews the power dynamic a bit too much, and that I should treat professors as colleagues if I want them to treat me as one.

How do I learn this? I hang out with a lot of American friends but somehow this is something I’m unable to learn. —Anonymous

Hi, there. In order to address your question, I reached out to several campus partners. I hope their multiple perspectives and experiences are helpful.

Ziyan Bai is a graduate student assistant with the Graduate School’s Core Programs and Office of Postdoctoral Affairs:

“In Winter 2016, I organized a workshop on “Communicating with Faculty” for international grad students. At the workshop, a panel of 3 faculty members and 4 advanced international graduate students from social science, science, engineering, and humanities shared commination tips and strategies including communicating in person or via email. We have a summary of notes from the panel.

I also got this question many times during my 1-on-1 mentoring with new international grad students. This is not an uncommon situation. The bottom line: find a middle ground that students find comfortable with the degree of reverence they show in the email or talking in person. Usually international students find it uncomfortable if they try to “get rid of” their home culture in order to fit in. There is no universal standard in communication, so staying connected with home culture and being open to learn new culture at the same time is recommended.”

>>Note: Workshop will be offered again in Winter 2017. Details will be announced in the Graduate School Digest and on the Graduate School’s events calendar.<<

Era Schrepfer is the executive director of the Foundation for International Understanding Through Students (FIUTS), which offers a wealth of support and programs for international students at UW:

“We hear this question pretty frequently. I usually suggest visiting the professor during office hours and being totally honest about this with them directly. Just say, ‘I’m from XXX and in my country we are taught from an early age to treat teachers much more formally, so the culture in the classroom here is hard for me to get used to. I want to be successful in your class and for you to feel comfortable. What do you suggest to help me with this?’

Usually, they really don’t mind being treated more formally by international students, but it helps to start off the quarter with a conversation. Sometimes, it’s easier to feel comfortable with a professor when you know them a little bit on a personal level, and it’s meaningful to the professor as well. So ask them questions about themselves. Have they ever been to your country? How long have they been teaching? Where did they go to school? It’s helpful to find some common ground with them and see them as people just like you.

Power distance is one of the most challenging cultural elements! I know a lot of alumni who still struggle with it many years after coming to the US!”

Elloise Kim is the president of the Graduate and Professional Student Senate, and an international student herself:

“As someone who is from a similar culture, I totally understand why you are hesitant to freely communicate with people like faculty members. In my home culture, a respectful manner for people who are older or hold a higher position is obligatory. Yet, if people here can interpret your attitude not necessarily as carefulness but as cultural clumsiness, you may want to question for whom you insist to keep such manners.

I’d like to suggest to learn American cultural manners in the way you have learned English. In other words, think of it as a foreign language. Its syntax and phonetics would be very different from those of your original language. But, you have to learn and practice it in the way the language is spoken by native speakers. You do not become a totally different person while speaking English – rather, you are speaking another language still being yourself. Likewise, ways of communication need to be learned and adjusted. You can be very polite in a different way!”

Katie Malcolm is an instructional consultant for the Center for Teaching and Learning and specializes in working with international, multilingual and first-generation college teachers and students:

“This is a great question, and one that many grad students have. The resource ‘Communication Strategies for International Graduate Students‘ has some specific strategies for students about communicating with advisors.”

>>If you’d like the full manual, you can request a free copy. <<

Thriving in Graduate School 2.0

GSEE invited Core Programs staff to facilitate a power hour event called Thriving in Graduate School. Graduate students who attended had the opportunity to learn from a panel of experienced graduate students of color currently working on their Masters and Doctoral degrees. These included Jessica Hernandez (Marine and Environmental Affairs & Environmental and Forest Sciences), Crystal Agoncillo (Evans School of Public Policy and Governance), Lindsey Wilson (Education), and Issa Abdulcadir (Sociology), who shared their wisdom and strategies for surviving and thriving—within and outside of graduate school. We thank them for allowing us to share their pearls of wisdom below.

Self-advocacy. In order for you to get the support you need, meet goals, and achieve milestones as a graduate student—it is important that you advocate for yourself so you can be–and feel–successful. If you are in need of emotional, professional, or intellectual mentorship from peers, reach out to students within and outside of your cohort. Finally, take the initiative to schedule regular meetings with faculty mentors and advisors. E-mail them a meeting request with a short, realistic list of things you’ll be talking about (e.g. coursework, preparing for a conference, the progress of your thesis or dissertation, job search, or even a set of questions that will help you understand your graduate program better), and a list of dates and times you can meet, especially if you are unable to meet during their office hours. As you need to, negotiate for changing deadlines to ensure you are putting forth your best work.

Community. Recognize that you are a whole person, with a need for community on and off campus. It is perfectly okay (and necessary) for you to foster community with students, staff, and faculty across campus, especially if you have similar life experiences based on race, gender, ability, sexuality, economic background, or nationality. Connecting with individuals who share experiences based on your identities and shared values can help decrease isolation and buffer the effects of campus-based microaggressions. Connecting with community can also look like making time in your schedule to spend time with, skype, or call loved ones to maintain relationships with family and friends, especially if you moved to Washington for graduate school from another state or country. This can also look like volunteering with local organizations and social movements in your city, as many of us care deeply about issues of equity and social justice.

Purpose. As above, connecting with people and causes that you care about will keep you fueled for the long road ahead that is graduate school. Remember why you are here and the contributions you want to make. Your purpose and passion is your North Star and can help to ground you when the deadlines, demands, and noise around you get to be too much. And remember that you belong here. Make the UW Graduate School experience your own, make your graduate student experience work for YOU. #UWGradSuccess #UWGOMAP

Best,

Kelly, Jaye, and Ziyan
Core Programs Team

Thank you again to the grad student panelists and GSEE for co-organizing another successful power hour event and for asking us to collaborate with them!

Welcome All! Tips for Preparing for the Fall Quarter!

Core Programs in the Graduate School extends a warm welcome to all new and returning graduate and professional students to the UW—Bothell, Tacoma, and Seattle. Whether you are enrolled for a year, a few years, or several, we acknowledge that it takes time to settle into a new city, work rhythm, and culture. Even for those of us who have lived in the Pacific Northwest for many years, we are still discovering new places and making new connections.

For those of you who are returning to campus, we truly hope you had opportunities to re-energize during the summer so you can move forward with your academic, professional, and interpersonal goals. We also appreciate that many of you are dreaming about and planning for life beyond graduate and professional school.

At Core Programs, we are here to root you on and support you as you work towards your goals — #UWGradSuccess. Here are some tips we hope you find useful, as you prepare for the first week of the new quarter:

You don’t have to know everything. Your Graduate Program Advisors are doing a fantastic job of organizing departmental orientations and welcome events, and they are sharing a wealth of information about your program requirements and campus resources. This is important for you, so you can plan ahead for your academic and professional goals. At the same time, we encourage you to acknowledge that you don’t have to know everything right now. Prioritize only the most important information and tasks you need to learn and do now and make time to re-visit information about your program and campus resources later (next week, next month, next quarter, etc.) Use an Individual Development Plan (IDP), so you can set goals for yourself with notes like “explore…” or “find out about…”. It takes one step at a time to make progress and figure out what’s next. Be open and curious.

Find your community. The University of Washington is a big place, with three campuses and multiple offsite research locations. We know that a feeling of belonging is critical to your success as graduate and professional students. It makes a difference to find and connect with people that can support your whole self—and not just your role as a graduate or professional student. To help you find your community, check out the list below of upcoming welcome events and orientations.

Practice asking for help. Throughout your time at UW, seeking guidance and feedback on your studies, professional pursuits, and interpersonal goals is also vital to your success. The trick is knowing when and how to ask for help. Maybe you’re unsure if you’re critically engaging with course readings in the most effective and efficient ways. Be proactive, and send an e-mail to a second or third year student in your program, and ask if they can meet for coffee to go over your understanding of one of the readings. You might learn new study tips that will make your life easier. When you’re a new student, reaching out to a peer can be a more comfortable option rather than approaching faculty. Just remember that you were selected out of many applicants to be in your department, so know that you belong here.

You will be hearing from us every two weeks with these e-newsletters. Add cpinfo@uw.edu to your e-mail contacts, to make sure our newsletters arrive in your inbox. You’ll also be hearing from the Graduate School every other week with the Graduate School Digest–a fabulous collection of events, resources, and quick tips for making the most of your graduate student experience. Check out our Core Programs facebook page and the UW Graduate Student facebook page for more.

Best Regards,

Kelly, Jaye, and Ziyan
Core Programs Team

Getting the Mentoring You Need

Throughout your training, but especially in the postdoc experience, your faculty supervisor plays a significant role with you and your future. We know there is a full spectrum of what faculty have to offer and how this matches with what you need. From what we have learned, it can take “managing up” and being proactive in your relationship with your faculty advisor to make it work for you. The National Postdoc Association recently posted a blog with exceptional tips for how to get more from the mentoring opportunities you have. In addition to these points, which we summarize below, we also always recommend developing a mentoring team so you can get a full spectrum of support from many and are not solely dependent on one person alone.

With a few additions from us, here are the top recommendations from the National Postdoc Association blog. See the full blog – available to all UW postdocs through our institutional membership with NPA – for even more tips:

Make time to meet regularly with your mentor(s). In many cases, you will need to request and initiate these. Be prepared for your meetings, send a written summary of progress in advance, and focus your f2f meeting on particular questions or challenges you are confronting currently. Have specific goals and tasks in mind. Send a follow up email of agreed upon next steps or decisions that get made during the meeting.
Be willing to listen and learn. Ask directly for feedback – what is currently going well, and what could be done differently to work more productively or effectively together. Not everyone is skilled at giving feedback, so asking for specific areas where you want to know how you can improve shows strength and the willingness to grow.
Be proactive about your needs. Being proactive is much more than just taking the initiative – it’s about using your time during your postdoc experience more effectively. Thinking about what the faculty needs can also help you respect their interests while asserting yours.
Be a problem solver. When bringing problems to your mentor, you should have possible solutions in mind to foster the development of your own problem-solving skills. While the mentor can provide ideas and feedback, sometimes no one knows your situation better than you.

As the NPA writer concludes: “No matter what kind of a mentor you have – one who offers little or no help; one who constantly overwhelms you with information; or even a mentor who is an experienced teacher and understands how to work effectively with a postdoc – you will get more out of mentoring if you are proactive in the process.”

Additional Mentoring Resources:

Graduate School – Mentoring Resources
Core Programs – 10 Strategies for “Managing Up”
Re-Thinking Mentoring: How to Build Communities of Inclusion, Support & Accountability
NPA – Mentoring Plans for Postdoctoral Scholars
Cathee Johnson Phillips – Presentation on Mentoring Plans for Postdoctoral Associates

Originally posted on August 18, 2016.

Bad Teacher

Hello,

Older graduate student who has had a career already so have a little life experience. I took a class with a teacher who was incredibly condescending both to the undergraduates and the graduate students — I pushed back a bit on this but got nowhere. Unorganized, due dates and test dates were “fluid” (as in they kept changing) and homework did not get graded in time for tests. We did learn a lot about this person’s history and background though… I feel like I owe future students some sort of action or at least a heads-up. — What can I do?

Yikes, sounds horrible. I appreciate that you gave nothing away about the class or instructor. I trust that you filled out the class evaluation. This is probably the easiest yet most impactful thing you can do. Future students can look up class ratings in the Course Evaluation Catalog. And in addition to the instructor, department coordinators and administrators also see the evaluations.

You can also try a online rating site like Rate My Professor. Just be aware of the many biases of sites like this. I would also try taking your concerns to the GPA/GPC of your department. It’s important to create a written record of some type.

I reached out to the Office of Educational Assessment, which replied, “Students do have other places to turn; which is most effective probably depends on the type and severity of the unprofessionalism. Speaking with the department chair can get a note in the faculty personnel file, while talking with the UW Ombudsperson can address more significant breaches. The Ombud is also a great starting point to learn about other appropriate avenues of appeal.”

Hope that helps. Good luck!

School Smart, Love Dumb

I recently started seeing a very nice guy who also happens to be a grad student here on campus. My question is, how do I find the time and energy for dating while being a grad student? What specific activities can I do here in Seattle, given that there’s hardly any time on weekdays, we are not living together, and we are both not rich enough to afford cars?

I’m really clueless on how to keep this thing going. Due to class/TA hours, we have only a 30-minute window to meet for lunch, and it always so happens that if he brings lunch from home, I forget to, so I need to go out to eat, which isn’t enough time for him to get back to his next class, and vice-versa. He gets to campus really early, so he’s tired by 7 pm, which is when I get out of OH, so we can’t really meet after that. Which leaves weekends, and it’s always raining here, so hikes are ruled out until summer, I think.

We’ve done all the getting-to-know-each-other talks, now I sense a bit of boredom seeping into our bland meetings. Apart from there not being much time to meet (as described above), there’s also this thing that ever since I started grad school, all I can think and talk about is my research. I literally have no clue what’s going on in the world, I’m too tired to have an opinion on anything, and I haven’t seen any movies recently. I just don’t know how to fix this! Is this something other grad students who are dating relate to? Any advice on how to fix it? —Stuck in Love, Suck at Love

Well, what an interesting dilemma. It seems to this guru that you need to break down the larger issue of finding time to connect and identify each small problem and then brainstorm solutions with your significant other.

Problem #1: If one of you brings lunch and the other buys lunch, you have no time to eat and talk together.
Possible solutions: Commit to always bringing lunch. Commit to always buying lunch. Eat in a campus café where you are welcome to bring outside food in (Rotunda, HUB, H-Bar, etc.).

Problem #2: You don’t know what to do on the weekends, especially in the winter.
Possible solutions: Learn to like hiking in the rain. Do an urban hike. Download a Seattle guide and try to do one a weekend. Take advantage of UW events.

Problem #3: You have nothing in common to talk about.
Possible solutions: Try to talk about your research in a big-picture way that’s relatable. Create shared experiences. Consult a guide of free/cheap fun dates. Email or text quick messages throughout the day and try to build up a casual, ongoing conversation that’s less intimidating than trying to save all conversation for weekends.

And now let’s open it up to other graduate students to share their suggestions. Have you ever found yourself in Suck at Love’s situation? Please leave your tips in the comments!

Mentoring 2.0: Finding and Working with Faculty Mentors

Throughout the year, we offered you strategies to get the mentoring you need to thrive in graduate and professional school—and we will continue to do so. We have suggested that building a mentor team of peers, faculty, departmental staff, friends, work colleagues and community members can help you recognize and meet your needs and goals as a whole person—not just as a student. We know that “finding a mentor” and “building a team” isn’t as simple as it sounds. It is actually pretty common to hit some bumps on the road as you identify and build working relationships with mentors on your team. We hope the following tips will help you address those concerns:

Difficulty finding a mentor. Depending on your degree program, you may or may not have been assigned a faculty advisor or future mentor (there is a difference between an advisor and mentor). Maybe you’re a little introverted and shy about approaching faculty. Or maybe you just don’t know where to start. Try out these strategies: (1) Ask peers about faculty mentors whom they work with and why. Ask them about the qualities they seek in mentors, and see if their responses resonate with your needs. (2) Re-visit faculty web profiles—including those outside of your degree program—and identify shared fields of interest. (3) After completing steps one and two, make a list of the faculty you’d like to work with, and send them an email to set up a meeting. This guide has helpful tips for setting up that first meeting. Bringing your first draft of an individual development plan (IDP) to this meeting can help you and your new mentor visualize—and plan for—the goals and experiences you’d like to have at the UW and beyond. The conversation may just be an informative 30 minutes to guide you along your path, or it may lead to a longer term working relationship.

Committed to mentoring, but unavailable. You’ve identified a faculty mentor who is excited about working with you. You’ve had a few meetings where you’ve built momentum and plans of action to get things done. You both get along great! Then suddenly it’s gotten difficult for you to meet your mentor for a range of reasons. They’re about to go on research sabbatical, added more projects to their plate, planning for retirement, experiencing life stressors that you are not privy to, etc. You’ve unintentionally fallen off their radar; it isn’t about you, but it’s still frustrating. What should you do? Get back on their radar by setting up a check-in meeting. If your mentor isn’t responding to your e-mails for whatever reason, figure out an alternative method for communication. Leave your cell number with departmental staff and request that your mentor contact you. When your mentor responds, just calmly note that it has been sometime since you connected. You can ask directly if anything has changed to impact the work you are doing together. You may find that you’ll both need to re-visit your mentor/mentee agreement, the frequency of your meetings, or that you’ll need a new mentor depending on the circumstances. The circumstances could be temporary, and sometimes just resetting a communication plan, or using different communication tools, can help.

Not the mentor you expected. There are numerous reasons why a mentor isn’t a fit for you. These can include personality differences, conflicts that are unresolvable, or the feedback they are providing no longer supports your intellectual and professional growth. At this point, it’s critical that you reflect on a plan to change advisors so you can continue your work towards your graduate or professional degree. The first thing we suggest (if you haven’t already) is to seek advice from a trusted peer, faculty member, or department staff to help you think through ways to move forward. The point is to keep yourself from feeling and being isolated as you navigate the process. Second, check out these recommended suggestions for changing mentors or advisors from the UW Graduate School.

Additional Resources

It is also good to be upfront and clear about both of your expectations throughout the mentor-mentee relationship. Take a look these check-lists on expectations for mentors and mentees from the Doctoral program in the UW Department of Physics.

How to Obtain the Mentoring You Need: A Guide for Graduate Students, UW Graduate School
10 Strategies for “Managing Up” (with Your Advisors), UW Core Programs
Managing Your Advisor, Inside Higher Ed
How to Deal With Conflict (For Mentees and Mentors), Inside Higher Ed

Crushed

How do you cope with a breakup of a long term relationship while job searching, moving and taking care of your family? It seems impossible. I feel crushed. I’ve used up my free counseling services due to a family crises earlier in my graduate experience. I don’t know what to do or where to go. My whole world is altered right before I was supposed to go out into the world determined for new experiences and greatness. I thought that I would have them to share that with me. But now it’s over. I’m lost. —I once was a bot

My heart goes out to you. The only responsible thing I can do is refer you to professional counseling. I do have a kernel of good news for you, though. You are still eligible for free counseling through the UW Counseling Center. There seems to be a lot of misinformation out there about counseling sessions for students. A representative from the Counseling Center confirmed that there used to be a cap on sessions in the past, but that is no longer the case. So you can absolutely go back and receive help for your current situation. Best best best of luck to you!

IsThisHowIt’sSupposedToBe?

I am a first year Ph.D. student and feel lonely all the time. There are several days when I go without any human contact except with students in my office hours. It’s strangely suffocating. I am still not part of any lab, so there are no labmates to hang out with. My classmates go to their labs straight after class so can’t hang out after class. —IsThisHowIt’sSupposedToBe

(This week’s answer is courtesy of Jaye Sablan, Core Programs coordinator, Office of Student Affairs in the the Graduate School.)

First off, thank you so much for reaching out. I know how hard it can be in academia to share emotional vulnerability, and I totally hear you. Graduate school and its demands can create an atmosphere that feels isolating and alienating to graduate students. No, this is *not* how graduate school is supposed to be, or how it needs to be, though we hear you that this is how it *is.* Know that your feelings are totally normal, and many grads have similar experiences. When I was in grad school, the cues that I was feeling disconnected were usually a combination of headaches, not being able to eat, inability to focus, and generally feeling alone on a campus with thousands of people around me. It also didn’t help that faculty, staff, and grad peers were busy in their own work that they (unintentionally) failed to notice I was struggling.

Here are a few things that helped me manage feeling isolated, and I’m wondering if they would be helpful to you:

What do I need right now at this moment to feel connected to my body? A stretch, deep breaths, a healthy snack, a glass of water.
Whom can I connect with to talk things through or feel vulnerable with (this one is a tough one, but you’ve already reached out to me ITHISTB)? Family members or friends via a visit, phone call or skype, my department’s GPA, off- or on-campus counselors (reaching out to more than one person is better).
If I can’t connect with peers in my department yet, what organizations on campus can get me those face-to-face connections with other grads? GPSS and their events, grad student organizations, Center for Teaching and Learning (you mentioned being a TA, so that might be a place to start), Core Programs, etc.
What other interests do have I have outside of academia that I need to intentionally make room for in my schedule? Dancing, going to see live music, baking, visiting museums, town hall talks, getting to know the city that I moved to for grad school.

Again, ITHISTB, I am so very grateful that you reached out, and I hope this message resonates with you. Again, no, this is not how graduate school should be, and there are ways to decrease isolation — including connecting with others, which is so important and vital for all of us studying and working in academia. If you’d like, please let me know if you’d like a specific list of campus resources to connect with. Looking forward to hearing from you.