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Advice Category: Mental Health & Wellness

Keeping the Momentum Going Through the End of the Quarter

As we head into the last two weeks of the quarter, some of you are completing your first year of graduate school, wrapping up a capstone project, writing a draft of a dissertation chapter, or eagerly anticipating graduation—all the while juggling family and community responsibilities. Many of you are in the midst of a job search and interviewing for future employment. We at Core Programs understand that it’s crunch time, and we’re here to encourage you to keep your momentum going. Here are some tips to get you through that last leg of the quarter:

Plan and prioritize.  Make a daily list and prioritize what you must complete each day. De-prioritize anything that can wait. Because your time is scarce, create a “wish list” for things you can do after the crunch time has passed, and since they are on a separate list, you can trust you won’t forget about them!

Utilize your strengths.  We wrote about this a few newsletters ago. What time of the day are you most productive? Whether it’s the morning, afternoon, or evening, do your graduate work during the time you feel the most motivated. Incremental bursts of work will allow you to be more productive, rather than setting aside unrealistic chunks of time. You’ll also feel satisfied because you’re actually getting work done.

Get support.  Meet with a peer or two to review drafts of each other’s work or do mock job interviews in preparation for actual ones. Plan to debrief or release stress with a friend or colleague after you’ve worked through a milestone. Working with a colleague not only decreases isolation, it increases accountability.

Self-care.  It’s important to renew your energy level, especially during crunch time. Go for a 5-minute walk after writing for an hour, grade a set of student papers and then listen to relaxing music, or make plans to share a healthy meal with a friend before continuing work into the evening. Do whatever reduces stress, feels rejuvenating, and allows you to get in “me time.”

Acknowledge and reward milestones.  You’re nearly there, and that’s a feat in and of itself! Take time to recognize all your efforts each day and give yourself a treat for doing so! You definitely deserve it!

To all graduate and professional students who will complete your programs this year, we applaud you for your sheer dedication, tenacity, and passion. Best wishes in all your future endeavors! To all students who will be returning the coming year, Core Programs in the Graduate School will be here to encourage and support you! As always, we love hearing from you—your ideas, successes, frustrations, and thoughts on how we can better support your graduate experience. Contact us at cpinfo@uw.edu.

Being Supportive and Getting Support: Suicide Prevention for Grad Students

“It will never get any better,” or “I can’t take it anymore”–sometimes phrases like these appear as posts on social media or comments in passing. Other times it’s behaviors such as being increasingly anxious, withdrawing from others, increasing drug/alcohol use, or expressing thoughts about wanting to die or feeling like a burden.

Combined together, these are signs that your peer, colleague, or loved one is experiencing intense emotional distress and could be at-risk for suicide. These verbal and behavioral cues are often a person’s invitation for support, and it is our job as a community to recognize these cues and get help.

It is estimated that 11% of college students seriously consider suicide annually, rendering suicide the second leading cause of death among college students nationally. And graduate students are at greater risk than undergraduates.

The good news? The vast majority of suicides are preventable and most people recover from suicidal thoughts.

If you notice the signs that a person might be in emotional distress, follow these steps:

Show you care. Express your concern for the person’s well-being. Say something like, “You mean a lot to me, and I want to help,” or “You really matter. I’d like to support you.”

Ask directly about suicide. Say something like, “Sometimes when people have lost interest in their work, are feeling hopeless, and are withdrawing from others, they’re thinking about suicide. Are you thinking about suicide?” Asking about suicide will not put the idea in someone’s head. It is perhaps the most critical step in suicide prevention.

Get support. If it is a UW student you are concerned about, call SafeCampus at 206.685.7233 (SAFE). If you are concerned about a non-UW student, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 (TALK). This will route you to your local crisis center where the person in distress can receive a suicide risk assessment and will be connected to appropriate community resources. Encourage the person to call with you, but you can also call without him/her to seek expert advice on next steps. Please save both of these numbers in your cell phone! You never know when you might need them.

Restrict access to lethal means. Help to ensure that the person in distress does not have access to means that can be used in a suicide attempt, such as a firearm or large quantities of prescription medication.

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, there is help available!

You can call SafeCampus or head over to the Counseling Center or Hall Health. Both have walk-in crisis counselors available during business hours from M-F, and you can also receive ongoing treatment there. Importantly, there is no shame in having these thoughts.

Now Matters Now is a fantastic public resource where people who have experienced suicidal thoughts share their clinically proven coping strategies.

For more information on how UW is working to prevent suicide, please visit:
Forefront: Innovations in Suicide Prevention

This post’s guest author is Lauren Davis, Director of Higher Education and Senior Policy Analyst for Forefront: Innovations in Suicide Prevention (School of Social Work) and an MPA student at the Evans School of Public Affairs.

I Am Not Perfect, I Am a Whole Person

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

“My paper has to be perfect, before I submit it to my advisors. They’ll think I’m stupid otherwise.”
“I can’t lose my train of thought during my presentation.”
“I have to run the numbers many more times, before I start my report. If I don’t, my labmates will ridicule me.”
“I need to be on top of everything!“

As you complete your work this quarter, we know that perfectionism can be an obstacle to feeling like you’ve done your best. The culture of academia is good at promoting the notion that your work is always under the toughest scrutiny, leaving little room for error or work that may be rough around the edges.

For some, staying up all night to really nail the analysis can provide a tremendous sense of accomplishment. But repeatedly working at this super-productive pace ultimately comes at a cost to your emotional and physical health. For others, setting goals that are impossible to reach may lead to procrastination, avoidance and feeling not good enough.

For those coping with perfectionism, we see you and encourage you to shift your thinking so you can acknowledge yourself as a whole person. Intellectual and professional development are constant processes that require supportive feedback, self-revision and personal growth over time. Four thoughts below may give you something to try differently as you head into these last few weeks of the quarter:

Accept.  Perfectionism reduces you to the sum of what you can and can’t accomplish. The reality is you can’t do it all, and you can’t do it all perfectly. Be concrete and intentional in your goal setting each quarter, so you can do work that is manageable and meaningful to you. Adjust your goals as you go, to know what is really possible to accomplish now, this weekend, or this week.

Invite. Perfectionistic thinking distorts the way you perceive the quality of your work and can contribute to isolation. Instead of feeling like you have to buckle down and work harder, make time to ask peers, faculty advisors, and colleagues for help in clarifying ideas for that seminar paper or presentation. Framing something as a “work-in-progress” can take some pressure off. Knowledge production is a process, not a product. Nobody just “gets there” from sheer self-determination.

Ground.  Perfectionism can perpetuate obsessive thinking on school or work related projects. Intentionally spend time with friends, family, and community who know that you are more than just a graduate or professional student. Your community can help remind you that you are a partner, sibling, parent, friend, artist, dancer, gamer, hiker… the list goes on and on.

Enough.  Accepting “this is enough” means that you have done the best you could given the time, experience, and resources available, and it is time to be done. It also means you are enough, just as you are.

More resources:

Building Resilience: Moving Forward During the Winter

Welcome back to campus! We hope that you enjoyed your well-deserved holiday break.

As you move forward into the winter quarter, we acknowledge that there could be a marked shift in your experience as a graduate student. The days are both shorter and longer as you spend hours working inside. Personal and work deadlines also appear to grow exponentially. The stress of it all can feel overwhelming. In light of this, we at Core Programs encourage you to build your resiliency so you can better navigate what will feel like an especially challenging quarter.

Here are a few strategies to build your resiliency:

Be mindful. Pay close attention to your mind and body. What kinds of thoughts are going through your head? Do your muscles feel tense? Is your breathing shallow? Are you hungry? Not hungry? Pausing to reflect on how your mind and body are working allows you to be present and take stock of what you truly need at the moment.

Be compassionate. Academia can make you feel like you’re never doing enough. When you couple this with how difficult it can be to stay motivated during the winter, you can become your own worst critic. The truth is, it is neither realistic nor possible to do it all, do your best work, and maintain your health. Be kind and gentle with yourself. It might not feel like it, but you are enough.

Be active. You’re thinking, “Isn’t that the problem?! It’s difficult to stay active during winter.” We’re not suggesting that you train for a marathon (although this may resonate with some of you). If you’ve been reading and writing for several hours, go outside for a ten-minute walk. Do light stretching in the living room. Watch your favorite TV show or read a non-academic book. Intentionally schedule time for family and community. Do activities that not only give you a break from school but also feel rewarding.

Be consistent. Having a daily routine is a helpful coping strategy for managing the stress of the winter. Set your alarm to get up everyday at the same time. Make or grab coffee afterwards. Listen to a podcast on the way to campus. Eat meals at regular times. Give yourself time to wind down before going to bed at night. Do whatever feels right and do it daily.

Renew and refresh. Finally, as during any busy quarter, focus on why you are here as a student. Remember your personal, intellectual, and professional motivations for working towards your degree and beyond. Keep yourself fresh and committed by placing reminders around your home or work station that surprise and ground you.

Living the Truth of Not Yet

Life in graduate school is challenging and stressful, not only because of program demands to excel and be productive, but also because there is life outside of the lab, classroom, and the university. The demands of health, relationships, and responsibilities don’t stop.

We seek to find a balance between our graduate studies, research and life responsibilities—and often feel unsuccessful. This can result in debilitating feelings of failure, perhaps negative thoughts that “something is wrong with me,” which only intensifies shame or guilt.

I find it important to move away from this binary and re-frame it as a work-in-progress. We need to give ourselves permission to live the truth of not yet!

When an infant is learning how to walk and takes her initial steps and falls, we don’t scowl and shout, “Get up, what’s wrong with you?” No, we smile, clap and cheer because we know her muscles are getting stronger and she will find her balance. We don’t expect a seven-year old to be doing calculus. Not yet! But we are good at imposing upon ourselves unrealistic expectations of perfection rather than give ourselves permission to grow, to live not yet.

What helps me is to view the areas of my life not as separate–or compartmentalized–and not to see balancing as an achievement. Rather, it is a process that I listen and pay attention to constantly because it is easy to lose perspective and balance. We must respond by being authentic—being human– and this includes being vulnerable and growing through our struggles and with our limitations.

What helps keep perspective and focus? For some it’s regular exercise—yoga, running, or cycling. For others it’s listening to music, creating art, or talking to a friend. For others it may be meditative or spiritual practices. Whatever helps you—practice it! Practice being present with yourself and others.  Stay connected to your passion and to that which grounds and centers you. Rather than being a selfish act, this investment in yourself allows you to be a better student, colleague, partner, friend, and parent.

Live your gifts as a practice. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to hold and appreciate the not yet. Then, your work and personal life will be acts which flow from your center, your heart, and will be powerfully generative and transformative.

This post’s guest author is Dr. Gino Aisenberg, Associate Dean for Student Affairs and Diversity in the Graduate School and Associate Professor of Social Work.